How our fears become our strengths

On the power of tender, raw acceptance

We all carry secret fears — those dark, irrational “what-if”’s that cling to us like shadows through our triumphs and our challenges:

What if everyone’s just pretending to respect me? What if people secretly think I’m weird? What if I’m actually no good at this?

I’ve spent a lot of time exploring my secret fears these past few weeks and even more time leaning into the raw, tender acceptance of all the things I don’t want to be. Transitions, especially big, public, vulnerable ones, have a way of doing that to a person. I’ve learned something very important:

The more I share my secret fears and vulnerabilities, the more they begin to feel like strengths.

It’s terrifying to be so open. Of course it is! But even as I peel back my outer layers before the world, I am discovering strength in vulnerability and softness. It feels like new skin, pink and raw, savoring the touch of air for the first time.

Photo by author

Another thing is happening, too. Other people come to me and tell me they’re afraid of exactly the same things. Our life experiences are vastly different, yet we carry the same wounds, the same insecurities, the same false belief that we are not enough as we are. And here I thought I was the only one!

So I challenge you to ponder these questions:

What are you secretly afraid of?

What vulnerable parts of yourself do you keep under lock and key?

What would it feel like to give them light and air instead?

What if those deep, dark, secret fears you carry are actually the seeds of your greatest strengths?

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