We are not as alone as we think we are

And we never have been

The modern world is an isolating place.

Thanks to social media, we can be surrounded — constantly, if we so choose — by the sunniest moments of other people’s lives. We have far fewer opportunities to commune in human vulnerability. Is it any wonder so many of us are lonely? Any wonder we feel as if we’re not enough the way we are?

I’ve often heard that my writing helps others feel less alone. One of the most frequent comments I receive (not just on Substack) is, “Were you reading my mind when you wrote this?”

I’m not psychic. I just write about my insecurities. A lot. 😳 And most of the time, my insecurities look much like everyone else’s.

Lake Titicaca, Peru, 2012. Photo by author.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but mostly it’s illuminating. Humbling. Reassuring. It’s taught me that we’re not as alone as we think we are.

How can I feel alone with my fears and my humanness when I read this passage from Rumi, who lived 800 years ago?

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down the dulcimer. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

Or this from Shakespeare, the very Bard himself, on the power of doubt?

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.

Or this from Marcus Aurelius, the great philosopher king of ancient Rome?

Remember that even if you were to live for three thousand years, or thirty thousand, you could not lose any other life than the one you have, and there will be no other life after it. So the longest and the shortest lives are the same. The present moment is shared by all living creatures, but the time that is past is gone forever. No one can lose the past or the future, for if they don’t belong to you, how can they be taken from you?

We are not as alone as we think we are. We never were.

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