Self-limiting beliefs are not what's holding you back. Capitalism is.
A rant against the self-help industrial complex
Author’s note: I usually keep things pretty gentle and uplifting around here, but sometimes I get a little feisty. Today is one of those times. If cuss words and rants against the self-help industrial complex aren’t your thing, you may wanna sit this one out. If, on the other hand, cuss words and rants ARE your thing, welcome. Let’s rail against the status quo together.
So I was listening to an inspirational reading this morning. It was about the tension between societal expectations and our own inner compass and how “most of us” just “mindlessly” follow the former and then wonder why we’re unsatisfied.
Honestly, it pissed me the fuck off.
The message was a classic self help bait-and-switch:
Start with an intuitively obvious premise — lots of people do feel the tension between external demands and inner yearnings.
Subtly dismiss the intelligence, agency, and humanity of “most people” by painting them as mindless sheep who do whatever society tells them.
But not you. You’re different because you’re here, reading this book/taking this course/listening to this meditation, so clearly you’re one of the smart ones.
Convince you that the reason your creative dreams aren’t materializing is because you aren’t listening to your inner guide, following your inner compass, you have a broken money mindset, or any of the other countless things self-help influencers say to prey on the hopes of people who understandably yearn to earn a living doing literally anything besides propping up broken systems and enriching the wealthy.
As if capitalism weren’t a real thing. As if rent and bills and groceries and systems that deliberately keep us exhausted and underpaid are just minor inconveniences. As if the the barriers and oppression that billions of people experience daily are all in our minds.
ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ
Emoticon alt text: an angry face with waving arms
Okay, let’s take a breath. There’s nothing wrong with following our inner knowing and creating our own definitions of success. I’ve written about that, too. A lot. Hell, the whole point of my marketing business is to help artsy, rebellious types who don’t want to follow societal expectations.
And I would never, ever, ever claim that all you need to achieve your dreams is to get rid of self-limiting beliefs, fix your money mindset,* or — gods forbid — fucking manifest harder.
“Most of us” are not mindlessly following societal expectations when we go to work and are too tired at the end of the day to devote as much time to our creative projects as we’d like. Most of us have bills to pay. Most of us need our day jobs. Most of us do not have the privilege and connections to land multiple major publishing deals by the time we’re 30.
Most of us will not earn a full-time living through creative work alone, and even if we do, we will most likely be running a business with its own demands and drudge work that still make it hard to spend as much time on the creative stuff as we want.
This is a hard truth. But I think it’s freeing, too. It means you can release yourself from shame and gaslighting about why you aren’t living “an exceptional life” (whatever the heck that means).
You can ignore all the “How I 10x’d my subscribers in 10 weeks” posts and go at your own pace.
You can let go of the drive to appease the algorithm.
You can opt out of the bullshit and spend that time on stuff you care about, whether that’s working on your art or taking a walk with your kids.
Best of all, you can wear the “most of us” label with pride, not shame. Because most of us are in the same boat. Most of us are kind, open-hearted people who want to do the right thing. Most of us are doing the best we can.
And we’re all rooting for you.
Oh fuck yeah! This made me feel seen.
UGGHGHGHGH. Fucking preach. Thank you for this.