Feeling stuck? "Don’t be afraid to introduce a difference." — Michael O'Neill
Creative Dialogue #15
Creative Dialogues is an ongoing project to learn from fellow artists. I’ve interviewed an astonishingly wonderful variety of creative individuals about their art, creative practices, and how they make it all work. I send every participant a list of questions about creativity and the creative practice. They respond to the five questions that resonate most, so every interview reflects the artist’s own curiosities and interests.
Today’s interview is with
, author of .
(he/him/his) is a guy whose life has been anything but linear. Lucky to be married to his amazing spouse, Molly, they are bun parents to their two free-roam bunnies Amelia and Fred. Michael is a lover of nature, being outdoors, and is a very passionate cyclist. With an MDiv from Notre Dame and 2000 hours of clinical spiritual training under his belt, he spent five years as a spiritual care provider in various hospitals across the US healthcare system throughout the COVID-19 pandemic. He has since left that role and is pursuing his Master of Social Work. Michael is the author of , a substack where he explores ways to express his rediscovered creativity of writing and drawing blended with his expertise in spirituality by exploring themes of connection, meaning, purpose, and much more.
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Have there been times when you felt out of touch with your creative self? If so, how did you rediscover your creativity?
I think I began to lose sense of my creative self after high school (where I actually took 4 years of art electives). Over time, that disconnection kept growing despite attempting to be creative in various work and education environments. I felt most out of touch with my creative self after spending 5 years working in healthcare, almost all of it during COVID.
My time in healthcare ended this past April, and I didn’t have a plan moving forward. Consequently, I had the opportunity and privilege to reconnect with myself. Slowly, my creative side began to emerge. Vague ideas eventually morphed into starting a substack. Then my substack needed a logo, which resulted in picking up art supplies. The embodied act of looking at different art supplies and mediums helped me begin recalling my years of art class.
Now, I’ve got my creative experiment of a substack for writing, I’ve been rediscovering drawing and sketching, and via my spouse, exploring ceramics and pottery! It’s all part of a process of reconnection with my authentic self. The irony isn’t lost on me that connection is a key part of spirituality, which was the focus of the very career that I needed to break away from before I could reconnect with myself.
If there is one lesson I’ve learned from my time as a spiritual care provider that I wish I could tell everyone, it’s this: life is so short and very little is guaranteed. Don’t wait to do the things you love or hope to do if you can help it.
What encouragement would you give to someone who’s struggling to get in touch with their creative self?
Forget outcomes. Don’t focus on the end product. Whatever your creative interests are, do it for yourself first and foremost. A great way to shift that focus is to put your emphasis on the process. Sure, have a sense of what you’re trying to do, but don’t get so lost on making it right the first time. Just enjoy the process. Allow it to help you connect with yourself.
At least, that’s what has been working for me. Focusing on the process removes a lot of pressure I put on myself as a recovering perfectionist. Whether it’s creating art or writing on substack, I give myself a heading and then dive into the process of creating. With writing, that usually means that I have no real idea what my final piece is going to look like. I allow the process to reveal or organically create the piece instead of trying to force it or overly mold it.
With art, I have a bit more focus on what I’m trying to create, but again, I focus on the process and allow myself to get lost in the act of drawing and putting pencil to paper. I admit that my perfectionism is a bit harder to keep in check with drawing than it is writing, but I still enjoy the process.
If I’m feeling disengaged, I try to introduce a difference. That could range from switching creative practices to stepping away entirely to focus my energy somewhere else. This helps me extend grace to myself when my creative energy is depleted.
Do you have a creative routine? If so, what is it? If not, why not?
I don’t know that I have a structured routine as much as a circumstantial creative habit. This “creative routine” functions very much like a crockpot (which is one of my favorite ways to cook food!). I start the project, add some ingredients, and let it slowly cook for a while as I walk away and get some space from whatever it is I’m working on.
Sometimes I don’t think about it at all until I return to it. Other times, I lightly and gently reflect on it or get some sudden inspiration while away from it. I come back, reread, add some more seasoning, and adjust the flavor or taste if the slow cooking has brought out a new composition that I was unaware of before. This helps me feel a lot less pressure since I just trust the process.
Interestingly, I’ve noticed that I have this pattern with both creative writing and drawing. It certainly came out in this interview!
Focusing on the process removes a lot of pressure I put on myself as a recovering perfectionist. Whether it’s creating art or writing on substack, I give myself a heading and then dive into the process of creating.
How do you replenish your creative energy when you’re feeling depleted?
When it comes to a loss of energy, I find “introducing a difference” is super helpful. I discovered this idea from Agazarian Systems-Centered Theory (SCT), which is a “person-as-a-system” perspective of people, groups, organizations, and systems. If you’re a systems geek and/or interested in psychology/therapy/etc., definitely check it out!
During my clinical training for spiritual care, known as Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), I was part of a group that used SCT to “explore our experience in the moment” (e.g. noticing emotions and physical sensations without explaining why you have them). We did something called functional subgrouping, which is the process of exploring differences among the apparently similar until the whole group develops capacity for a difference. For example, three people say they feel happy and physically experience happiness in three different ways. Then another member of the group asks if everyone is ready “for a difference.” If yes, then the individual introduces a difference of feeling sad, and the group begins exploring experiences of sadness. The idea is that all of these “subgroups” (happiness and sadness) are inside of us.
This changed my life. Now, in my lived experience, if I notice that my energy is low and I’m feeling disengaged, I try to introduce a difference. That could range from switching creative practices to stepping away entirely to focus my energy somewhere else. As a person, I have energy invested in various things and sometimes my energy or attention needs to shift. This helps me extend grace to myself when my creative energy is depleted and I just need a bit of a difference.
Coffee shops all try to embody the Instagram aesthetic and now it seems like they all look the same stylistically. It’s a shame because so much creativity is stifled to fit in.
What keeps you going when you feel discouraged?
I think gentleness with myself is super important, as well as remembering and reconnecting to my purpose. I am a recovering perfectionist, which can be really challenging regarding creativity and staying focused on the process. When I’m not in the best space, I want all of my creative projects to be contenders for the best thing I’ve ever done creatively. When that happens, I lose sight of the process and will find myself discouraged by the outcomes or reception of certain things I create.
What keeps me going is to remember that the creative practice is for myself, and the process of creativity is a healing one where I connect with my authentic self. The discouragement has certainly happened on substack. I got wrapped up in the promises of success and financial stability that substack marketing highlights, and there’s been a ton of posts and notes discussing that topic. I needed to take a step back to remind myself why I went through the trouble of setting up a substack in the first place — for myself to engage in creative processes.
I really appreciate feedback from others. I’ve always found that people see or appreciate things that I don’t always notice, and it’s helpful to the ongoing development of my creative process.
What is the worst creative advice you’ve ever heard? What would you say instead?
Honestly, anything around changing your authentic practice to fit some multistep plan or process to increase followers, subscribers, or increase visibility. Any kind of monetizing advise that compromises your creative process and pushes you towards commodified content that loses your uniqueness. I’m thinking of how coffee shops all try to embody the Instagram aesthetic and now it seems like they all look the same stylistically. It’s a shame because so much creativity is stifled to fit in.
What is one thing this community can do to support you and your work?
Please stop by, take a gander, share my work, and please, leave feedback! While
is a creative experiment and part of my creative process, I really appreciate feedback from others. I’ve always found that people see or appreciate things that I don’t always notice, and it’s helpful to the ongoing development of my creative process. Also, given that this is an experiment, it could authentically and organically change based on feedback, and that’s exciting! Finally, please know that I’m so grateful for whatever time you spend reading this interview and . Your time is so immeasurably precious and I’m honored by the choice to use it reading my work.Also, another way to support me is to support my fundraising for the Pan Mass Challenge! The Pan Mass Challenge (PMC) originated in 1980 as a fundraising event to raise money for Dana-Farber, a cancer research and treatment healthcare organization. I chose to participate as a result of having family and friends diagnosed with cancer while also working with patients who are receiving treatment for various cancer (including those in the care of Dana-Farber!). While I’m no longer in healthcare, this is a way for me to continue supporting former colleagues who still are. If you want to learn more or are moved to donate whatever amount you can, feel free to check the link out here.
When I’m not in the best space, I want all of my creative projects to be contenders for the best thing I’ve ever done creatively. When that happens, I lose sight of the process and will find myself discouraged by the outcomes or reception of certain things I create.
Lastly, you can support my lovely spouse Molly! She does ceramics and has a passion for pottery that she is trying to share with others and build her own little business. You can follow her on Instagram or Facebook to see her work.
Any final thoughts on creativity you’d care to leave us with?
Focus on the process. Don’t be afraid to introduce a difference when things feel stale or depleted. Be creative for yourself first and foremost. The process of creativity can truly be a spiritual practice of reconnection that enhances well-being and enriches your life. So dive into the process, try creativity on, see what fits, leave behind what doesn’t, and connect with yourself, those around you, and that which lies beyond.
Oh, and if there is one lesson I’ve learned from my time as a spiritual care provider that I wish I could tell everyone, it’s this: life is so short and very little is guaranteed. Don’t wait to do the things you love or hope to do if you can help it. It’s too easy to let life pass by and then get to the conclusion and have some regrets. So do what brings you joy and peace, don’t wait!
Dive into the process, try creativity on, see what fits, leave behind what doesn’t, and connect with yourself, those around you, and that which lies beyond.
More ways to support Michael:
Subscribe to
Support Michael for the Pan Mass Challenge
Check out Molly’s pottery on Instagram or Facebook (it makes a great gift!)
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