How not to get scammed by predatory marketers on Substack

Beware people who make money on Substack by claiming they’ll teach you how to make money on Substack

We interrupt this program to bring you a spirited rant about predatory marketers exploiting artists who yearn to make a living from their art. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Disclosure: I was a full-time marketing consultant for years. I still consult, but at present, it’s not my primary source of income.

I sometimes joke that if I ever completely lost my moral compass, I’d get rich making online courses that teach creators how to make six figures in 90 days — WITHOUT ANY SALES OR MARKETING.

The courses would be complete bullshit, of course, but they’d probably sell anyway because the market for false hope springs eternal.

To that end: I’m so sick of people who make money Substack by claiming they’ll teach you how to make money on Substack.*

This is my “I’m sick of your predatory bullshit!” face

I’ve been a professional marketer for 15+ years. I’ve gone viral myself a few times (still waiting for those promised life-changing results). I ran my own consultancy for years and led corporate marketing teams before that. I daresay I know my shit. So please believe me when I tell you: by and large, the influencers are lying.

We can’t stop predatory marketers, but we can learn to avoid their scams. So join me up here on my soapbox, and let’s unpack some of the many myths and false promises influencers use to prey on creatives who, oh so understandably, yearn to make a decent living from their creations.

Below is a list of major red flags that someone is engaging in predatory marketing. I’ve encountered them all and, sadly, learned about some of them the hard way. If you run into any of these red flags, proceed with extreme caution (at the bottom of this letter, I’ve also included a list of good signs that the person you’re about to pay will actually be helpful).

A non-exhaustive list of signs that someone is trying to scam you on Substack (or anywhere)

1. Absurd promises. There is no secret formula to go from 0 to 10,0000 subscribers in 90 days or 6 months or probably even 12 months. You aren’t going to build a six-figure Substack business without ever having to talk about that Substack to anyone. There is no guaranteed way to go viral. There is no silver bullet. Anyone who promises otherwise is lying.

2. One-size-fits-all approach. *cough* subscriber growth brag posts *cough* If someone is pushing a proven 5-step program that’s guaranteed to work regardless of your Substack content, audience, or goals, run away. There are no guarantees in marketing. Ever. There are general best practices (e.g. know your audience, give them stuff they value, make it easy for people to work with you), but every person’s path to success will look different. Two people can follow the exact same set of steps and get wildly different results — not because they screwed up or failed, just because life. And also, probably, money. Speaking of money…

3. Individualist “rags to riches” narrative. The ideal of the lone influencer who escaped poverty through grit and duct tape to earn a great living as a solo creator — while also restoring a Victorian fixer-upper, solving all their health problems with artisanal CBD, and raising six kids — is incomplete at very best. At worst, it’s a bald-faced lie. Entire agencies exist to help influencers build brands and go viral. I can pretty much guarantee you that those influencers are paying other people huge sums of money to help them maintain the illusion of doing it all themselves — while selling you the lie that you can and should be able to replicate their success on your own.**

4. Guilt trips and gaslighting. The worst of the scammers will weaponize your self-doubt. They’ll make you think your own fragility is what’s stopping you from being successful. If you express hesitation or tell them no, they’ll reply condescendingly that you just “aren’t ready” to receive their wisdom. This is abusive behavior meant to break down your confidence and doubt your own reality. Trust yourself. If something feels off, it’s not you — it’s them.

5. False urgency. Here’s a dirty little marketing secret: most limited-time offers are fake. They’re designed to create a false sense of urgency — sign up now, or this amazing deal will be gone FOREVER and you’ll miss out on this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY to find out all the ways you’re failing at Substack! There’s nothing wrong with an honest discount, but if someone is sending you message after message with increasingly urgent limited-time offers (bonus if they pair it with gaslighty, guilt-inducing language about how much you’ll regret missing out), they probably just want your money.

The playing field is not level. I’m sorry. It sucks. It’s infuriating and totally unfair that people get to make so much money by selling you false promises and then have the gall to make you feel inadequate for doubting them!

But it’s kind of liberating, too.

It means you aren’t doing it wrong.

It means you can release yourself from the endless grind of tweaking, editing, posting and reposting in hopes that you’ll go viral.

It means you can let go of other people’s success metrics and pursue what’s important to you on a schedule and at a pace that works for your life.

Most of all, it means you can show up as yourself — in all your brilliant, beautiful, messy, unquantifiable humanity.

That’s how the all best stuff gets made.

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Credit where credit is due: Many thanks to

Ines Bellina

and my good friend Megan (who, wisely, does not publish on Substack) for helping me with earlier versions of this letter.

*Yes, yes, there are some responsible actors out there —

Seth Werkheiser

is a solid dude who knows his marketing shit, and

Sarah Fay Writers at Work

is consistently helpful, knowledgable and kind — but “not all marketing Substacks” is a poor argument against the proliferation of predatory marketing Substacks.

**There’s nothing wrong with paying other people to help you run your business. It’s actually a very smart thing to do! My issue is with people who pretend they do it all themselves so they can make money selling you content on how to do it all yourself.

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As promised, here is my non-exhaustive list of signs you’ve found someone who will support you and your business:

1. Legit experience: If someone claims to know about marketing, for example, they should probably have some actual experience in marketing, whether as a business owner, in a corporate role, or both.

2. Humility and honesty: Growing a Substack — growing any business — is hard and takes longer than anyone expects. Mistakes will be made. Misteps will happen. Hopes will be dashed and then rekindled in unexpected ways. Anyone who says differently isn’t being honest with you.

3. Realistic expectations: When discussing outcomes, this person should help you set realistic goals based on a plan that actually feels doable (and no, staying up every night till 2am is not doable).

4. Specific: Look for someone who gives specific answers that address your unique situation, not generic responses, platitudes or, gods forbid, 5-step programs.

5. Pricing transparency: Choose someone who encourages honesty around money with easy to understand costs. Before enrolling in a course or plan, dig into the details. You may have to pay extra to actually get one-on-one time.