I was in such a hurry to write today’s letter.
I took last week off, and I felt guilty about it. I felt a sense of urgency to make up for lost time, to prove to all of you — or I think mostly to myself — that I’m still … what, exactly?
Devoted to my craft? Committed to showing up? A dedicated worker bee who doesn’t let silly things like emotional exhaustion get in the way of my ability to produce?
Ah, there it is, that familiar capitalist pressure to go fast, get shit done, measure my worth by my labor, and pity the poor sap who can’t or won’t move fast enough to meet some made-up target of success.
No.
Breathe deeply, and say it with me:
No.
Not here, not in this space. In this space, we are allowed to go slowly. In this space, there always enough time — to walk, to breathe, to meditate, to meet our own needs and know that these things, too, are part of a creative practice.
As you have probably guessed, I did not get today’s letter out first thing. I went for a walk instead. I brought my phone because I wanted to take pictures. I captured the trees, the daytime moon, the dandelions, the golden apples covering the ground at my neighborhood park.
Walking back, I thought about checking my email. Surely something required my attention by now. It was almost 10 in the morning!
I left my phone in my pocket and felt the sun on my cheeks.
What I find so comforting is that only you know you’re “late”. Those of us who read your letters open the email when it comes, not thinking “well, this is a rather late email” but instead, “how lovely! Creative Letters in my inbox!”
By surrendering to self-imposed urgency, we free up our spirit to notice glimmers, to enjoy the process, to feel.
I’m glad you took your time. You deserve it🩷
Welcome words indeed. Thank you 🧡